Apr 15, 2021
Dr. Merry Frons has been working with individuals’ and couples’ relationship issues for the past 25 years. Her training as a sex therapist grew out of her experience working with couples when she realized that sexuality issues were part of couples' concerns and had a large influence on the underlying couples’ dynamic. Dr. Merry is out with a new book, The Trust Solution, where she talks about how two spouses can work on building trust and a healthy relationship again; A topic both her and Dr. Rob dive into on this week’s episode!
TAKEAWAYS:
[1:25] A little bit about Dr. Merry Frons
[3:25] Why did Dr. Merry decide to write her book, The Trust Solution?
[5:20] So many people are dealing with intimacy betrayal issues and they need guidance and help. It’s difficult to navigate this space alone.
[6:55] What does the betrayed partner go through after they’ve discovered infidelity?
[8:15] Dr. Merry shares some of the important steps a hurt partner needs to focus on.
[10:45] If the cheating partner wants to work through this, what can they do?
[12:20] The biggest step to a better relationship is by being honest and coming clean.
[14:25] Sometimes a betrayed partner wants to know everything and anything, but there are limits to knowing everything.
[16:15] The betrayed spouse doesn’t want to continue the relationship, now what?
[18:40] if both parties want to make it work, what are the next steps?
[23:20] What does Dr. Merry mean by attunement in this context?
[26:45] The spouse that has broken the relationship is trying, but they might not know about the tools available to them to help build healing.
[27:25] How do you build a two-party system when you’re so hurt and angry? A real partnership?
[31:10] What does Dr. Merry mean by ‘flow’?
[33:50] There’s no right or wrong decision on whether to stay or go.
RESOURCES:
The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Connect with Dr. Merry: Renewcounselingpllc.com
QUOTES:
- “How could you do this if you loved me? You say you loved me, and yet you did this to me.”
- “The hurt partner needs time to process these emotions. They need safety, support, and soothing.”
- “You can’t heal what is not acknowledged.”