Jul 18, 2019
Dan Griffin, M.A. is an internationally recognized author, thought leader, and expert who has dedicated his life and work to redefining what it means to be a man in the 21st century. He joins the show this week to talk with Rob about rewriting the rules and rigidity of what it means to really be a man, and the benefits men can get when they get in touch with their own feelings and deeply connect with others.
TAKEAWAYS:
[2:57] A few of the rules that the world has set up for boys at a young age to define what makes a real man:
[8:04] A large portion of men find they have no one to talk to or deeply communicate with, and this further creates a disconnection to self and the tendency to shut out others.
[11:21] We’re all like fish in the water, feeding off the same environment affecting each other with our actions. When an environment is supportive and fosters growth, it is more likely a man will shine and feel comfortable to show his true self.
[12:03] The rules themselves aren’t bad, but get in the way because they mandate without choice. There’s nothing wrong with strength and power, it's rigidity that blocks emotion and connection.
[14:43] Gay men have an experience of having multiple rules: ones set up for gay men, women and straight men all at once.
[20:38] We would all benefit if men are able to get in touch with their own emotions, and in turn they could access more empathy and understanding when women share their story.
[28:02] Crisis can be an opportunity to get vulnerable and open us up to meaningful, deep conversation.
[28:39] Each man has the right to choose what type of man he wants to be, which Dan terms as conscious masculinity.
[29:44] Men define intimacy via sex, and it is important to talk about breakdowns in the area before it gets to point where the partner cheats.
[33:18] With suicide rates being higher than ever, the impact of feeling isolated and disconnected is more serious than it’s ever been.
[35:17] We highly benefit when we go below the surface the people in our lives and show them the true authentic selves.
RESOURCES:
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Rob@sexandrelationshiphealing.com
A Man’s Way Through Relationships
American Psychological Association
QUOTES: