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Sex, Love, and Addiction


Nov 8, 2018

Dr. Christine Courtois is a leader and trailblazer in the world of trauma and sexual addiction. Over the past 30 years, she has developed treatment approaches for complex posttraumatic and dissociative conditions that have been ahead of its time and is one of the first trauma professionals to create the field of modern trauma therapy. Today, she talks about both the similarities, the differences and the disconnect between the trauma and the addiction world, and ways she sees that shifting to bring more education and understanding between the two. She and Rob also discuss emerging research in the field, why looking at the past can help us move forward in the future, and what support and information are out there for childhood abuse and how it may affect adult life.

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:52] The first step of trauma treatment is safety, which is the first step of sexual addiction treatment as well.

[3:41] Christine feels we are making progress in helping addiction professionals understand trauma history, and trauma professionals see how big a role addictions play in child abuse and complex trauma. There is still a long way to go, however, before we fully see addiction co-addressed with the trauma from the start of treatment.

[5:40] Addiction itself is traumatic, especially to a dependent child.

[7:24] The money paid by the government for mental health goes to a completely different silo than for addiction treatment, even though professionals understand the two are often intertwined.

[9:42] The training for trauma professionals to assess addiction was not at the forefront over the past years, and Christine makes one of her biggest priorities to expand knowledge about trauma in areas that need more awareness.

[12:05] Working with a complex trauma is much like doing addiction treatment.

[15:40] In 12 Step programs, the term 13th Stepping refers to when one is sober and they decide to start dating or sleeping with partners to feel better rather than focus on their healing.

[17:51] In someone with both a trauma or addiction, often there are many betrayals that have occurred interpersonally.

[19:50] It’s not about blaming bad parents or situations, it’s about uncovering the influence certain things had upon a person. While we can’t change the fact these events happened, they can serve as a vehicle to understand more of what’s going on today so that they can take accountability in moving forward with their lives.

[27:34] Often in treatment, one is able to come to terms with who their parents really were and accept that it’s up to them to learn it as an adult and take responsibility for their own healing. It is also beneficial to look at the attachment style of their parents, and what they got in their own childhood as a model to pass down to their own offspring.

[34:03] Christine’s advice to those in the field would be to make sure there is education, self-knowledge, and support systems set in place.

 

RESOURCES

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Dr. Christine Courtois

ACES.ORG

It’s Not You, It’s What Happened To You: Complex Trauma and Treatment by Christine Courtois

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