Nov 13, 2020
This is the Babylon Bee Weekly
News Podcast for the week of 11/13/2020.
In this episode of The Babylon
Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories
like the pandemic being officially over now that Biden is
President-elect, Biden’s secret list of cabinet picks getting
leaked by The Babylon Bee, and the party against fascism, the
Democrats, are creating a giant list of enemies because that always
ends well. Also, The Bee’s big ‘covfefe’ table book
The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee
Volume 1 is finally
hitting the streets and we have weird news and glorious hate
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Kyle and Ethan talk about why
Kyle looked like a hobo last week, vacuum haircut devices as seen
on Wayne’s World, the brand new
The Sacred Texts Of The Babylon Bee
Volume 1 available now
and whether or not to accept the election results.
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes Dungeons &
Ethan likes Bear in the Back
Seat by Kim Delozier and Carolyn Jourdan.
“Bigot” has been given a new
dictionary definition (NTB)
- Oxford English
Dictionary’s definition of ‘bigot’ now reads:
"A person who is obstinately or
unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially
one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or
people on the basis of their membership of a particular
- It no
longer reads: “A person
who is intolerant toward those holding different
Woman arrested for pretending to be
FBI agent and demanding free Chick-fil-A. She even talked into her
shirt like she was calling backup. (NTB)
- Authorities said Ragsdale kept up the ruse even
as she was being arrested Thursday, at one point
pretending to talk into a
radio supposedly hidden
under her shirt and urging the FBI to send someone to her aid,
according to The Polk County Standard Journal, citing police. She
also claimed her credentials were electronic-only when officers
asked to see identification.
FBI agents demand chick-fil-a?
Russian scientists discover huge
walrus haulout in Arctic circle
the heck is a haulout - is it pronounced “haloot!” which is another
word for Walrus dance party
were 3,000 walruses found in Russia
animals are believed to be going further and further south as
scientists believe their habitats are warming and melting due to
John Bolton among them? How is he doing?
"Hey, Siri … How old is the
president?" Her answer might shock (and infuriate) you
some period of time, Siri would tell you how old Kamala Harris is…
not Donald Trump or even presumptive President-elect Joe
tried it and it worked
100 Year Old Disc Golf Player
Breaks Guinness Record With Long Throw
age 90 set a World Record when he lobbed a disc at a distance of
age 100 threw a disc 189 feet for the over 100 age
said he is proud of his world record, but he feels like he can beat
Indian man builds 9-foot-long
marker pen for Guinness\\\\\\\ record
one is just to piss Kyle off.
Parrot returns to British
Owner speaking Spanish - four years after
- Nigel, a grey African Parrot, flew away from
his home in California in 2010, but was returned to his British
owner, Darren Chick, after he was discovered in Torrance,
bird’s British accent is gone, replace by fluent Spanish and
someone called “Larry”
King of West African Tribe returns
to gardening job in Canada
Manu became royalty when his 67 year old uncle, Dat, passed away
moved back to British Columbia, he has returned to landscaping and
gardening in the town in a bid to raise cash for his 6,000 strong
hopes to improve healthcare with all the money he
Stories of the Week
Pandemic Officially Over
almost a year of suffering under a devastating killer pandemic,
America was relieved to learn that the pandemic is
officially over after they
saw huge crowds of people smashed together celebrating Biden’s
apparent electoral win.
still can’t go to church or go to a funeral, but hey!
- People were celebrating in the streets in mass
crowds when major news like the AP and others declared Joe Biden
the President-elect on Saturday 11/7.
- Scientists predict if Trump manages to flip the
results COVID will return with a vengeance
We at The Babylon Bee have acquired a
top-secret list of Biden’s cabinet picks.
Here they are.
The political party vocally
opposed to fascism, the Democrats, have begun creating
- The Trump Accountability
- “Remember what they did,” the group’s sparse
website declares. “We should not allow the following groups of
people to profit from their experience: Those who elected him.
Those who staffed his government. Those who funded
Topic of the Week
The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee
- Retrospective on the life of The
our favorite articles from the book
through some of the new infographics
This guy really hates Jonah
- Mailbag From 13yo Kaitlyn and Jana asks about our
- Cancel your own subscription!
- Headline Forum -
Subscriber Headlines of the
- Got Any Cool Stories? / Calvin Update