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What if your divorce was actually a gift? The Divorced Women’s Guide podcast aims to change the conversation around divorce, helping women (and men) start the new best chapter in their lives. After all, divorce can be more than a transition phase, it can be an empowering experience. And through the conversations on the podcast you’ll come away with a new perspective, so you can turn your divorce into the best gift you’ve ever been given.

Oct 7, 2020

Victim mentality is something we all suffer from as we go through divorce, especially when we focus on the negative. However, there is actually some positivity in this situation, and when we start to see the silver lining, we get to stand in our power. 

As we start to heal after divorce, we get to look past the current situation, shift our perspective, and focus on the gifts divorce grants us. We have choices and do not have to choose to be the victim. If we focus on gratitude and self-compassion, we can see divorce as an empowering experience that happens FOR us, not TO us. 

What actions can we take when negativity strikes? How can we feel more powerful and in control of our lives?  

In this episode, I share how to fight the victim mentality and experience the gift of divorce without guilt. 


Being a victim keeps you in the past and looking in the rearview mirror. Allow yourself to be free of the past, and move into the next chapter with grace. -Wendy Sterling 


3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 


Why we hold on to pain and fear instead of looking for the positives:

Sometimes we feel stubborn in our negative emotions and we don’t want to look for the good because we don’t want to see it. When we’re hurt, it’s easy to refuse to change our perspective. 


How a victim mentality plays into our self-talk:

Our inner critic isn’t the only inner voice we have. It’s only one internal point-of-view caused by past experiences and circumstances. The inner critic feeds on us believing the negative stories we tell ourselves. Remember, it’s the voice of self-preservation and past trauma, not the truth. 


The true definition of mindfulness and why it’s important:

True mindfulness is our ability to observe our thoughts and feelings without attaching meanings, reactions, or stories to them. We perpetuate and react to the negative stories we tell ourselves because we’re believing them instead of observing them without judgment.