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What if your divorce was actually a gift? The Divorced Women’s Guide podcast aims to change the conversation around divorce, helping women (and men) start the new best chapter in their lives. After all, divorce can be more than a transition phase, it can be an empowering experience. And through the conversations on the podcast you’ll come away with a new perspective, so you can turn your divorce into the best gift you’ve ever been given.

Aug 5, 2020

Next to the emotional fallout, finances tend to be the biggest challenge in any divorce. 

From the fear of going down to one income to how the new financial dynamic will impact our children, it’s perfectly natural to worry about the financial implications of splitting up

Those fears come from a place of uncertainty because divorce is such a significant change in so many aspects of our lives. 

In divorce, especially when it comes to finances, it’s critical that we intentionally design an exit strategy instead of being emotionally reactive. If not, we risk making the process harder, more expensive, and more emotionally draining than it needs to be. 

How do we start the process of financially planning for life after divorce? How can we address the financial fears that come with divorce? What can we do to navigate an ex who shows love by buying things for the kids? 

In this episode, I’m joined by Certified Divorce Coach® and Divorce Financial Analyst®, Debra Doak who shares how to dump our money fears!


Make strategic decisions, not emotional ones. If you can meet your financial needs, that’s going to get rid of some of the fear. -Debra Doak  


3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 


Sometimes the answer isn’t to divorce immediately 
Financial implications are one of the reasons we need to be strategic about divorce. Instead of rushing to get out of the marriage, we might have to consider holding off filing. That allows us to fully consider how to get the best financial outcome for us and our children. 


Avoid focusing on shiny objects 
When the income that used to provide for one household has to provide for two, money isn't going to go as far. Our standard of living is going to go down, and the funds we’ll have to spend on our kids are going to be reduced. However, it is a challenge when our ex shows our kids love by buying them things, but remember it’s not a competition and what truly counts is the relationship we nurture with our kids. 


Start with your end goal 
Part of divorce is remembering that we love ourselves enough to create a life for ourselves, and in doing so we get to plan for it and budget for it. If we do it with an expert, the sky’s the limit and we can actually create a great life and financial reality in the aftermath. It starts with us knowing our budget before we get to the negotiating table.


Guest Bio

Debra Doak specializes in helping women make hard decisions about marriage, divorce, money, and life. She is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Ohio Supreme Court trained Family Court Mediator, and the author of High Conflict Divorce for Women. She specializes in giving women the confidence they need to speak up in their relationships or at the negotiating table. Visit and Get Debra’s Exit Strategy Checklist here.