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What if your divorce was actually a gift? The Divorced Women’s Guide podcast aims to change the conversation around divorce, helping women (and men) start the new best chapter in their lives. After all, divorce can be more than a transition phase, it can be an empowering experience. And through the conversations on the podcast you’ll come away with a new perspective, so you can turn your divorce into the best gift you’ve ever been given.

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Letting Go of Bitterness and Resentment

Jul 29, 2020

As we go through divorce, we’re going to experience our fair share of difficult emotions that make joy and peace feel out of reach. This includes bitterness and resentment. 

 

While it’s normal to harbor some negativity towards our marriages and our exes, we can end up stuck and unable to heal or move forward. 

 

As the saying goes, being resentful is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to be affected by it. Being bitter means you’re letting the past continue to hurt you and dictate how you feel. Letting that resentment go is critical if we want to find peace, joy and happiness. 

 

It seems easier said than done to let go of the resentment you’ve held onto for so long, but you have way more control of it than anyone else does. 

 

Why does resentment make it impossible for us to see our divorce as a gift? How can we start to reframe what makes us feel bitter and turn it into something that makes us grateful? In this episode, I talk about how to release resentment and stop being a prison of our past. 

 

You don’t owe your ex any more emotional energy. Start channeling that emotional energy into visioning your future. -Wendy Sterling 

 

3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode 

 

Why being resentful is poisonous 
Resentment leads to bitterness which creates other negative experiences in our lives. We won’t be able to recognize ourselves and those who love us will struggle to be around us. We also won’t be able to focus on all the good things we have going on... and we won’t move on.  

 

How to reframe the past so it doesn’t control us
The factors leading up to our divorce are in the past and we can’t change them. The only thing we can do is stop letting the past control us. We can own the control that we have to create the future that we want. 

 

What causes resentment and bitterness
Anger turns into bitterness, which turns into resentment. We become stuck in resentment because we keep telling ourselves the same story over and over again. It’s critical that we start to reframe our divorces as something good for us so that we can change the narrative.