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Choose You! Part One: Stop Caretaking Others

May 1, 2023

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Episode Introduction: 

It’s time to start choosing yourself. Tune in to the first part of our four-part series and find out how to stop caretaking others!

 

Episode Summary: 

In this week’s episode of the Rise Station Podcast, we talk all about codependency and how it leads to caretaking others in a relationship. We start by understanding the primary phenomena at play and then go on to discuss signs of caretaking as well as how to stop.

 

Rise Tribe Takeaways: 

  • Codependency is an unhealthy dependence on relationships.

 

  • Caretaking involves:

  1. Sacrificing yourself for others.

  2. Being self-righteous about your own opinions.

  3. Helping compulsively.

  4. Feeling responsible for others.

  5. Crossing boundaries with unsolicited advice.

  6. Judging others.

  7. Thinking you know what’s best for others.

  8. Giving but with strings attached.

  9. Feeling exhausted, irritated, frustrated, anxious.

  10. Feeling unappreciated and resentful.

  11. Using pushy and judgmental “You” statements.

  12. Controlling the life of the person you’re caretaking.

 

  • Caregiving involves:

  1. Practicing self-care.

  2. Respecting the opinions of other people.

  3. Helping when needed.

  4. Feeling responsible for yourself and to others.

  5. Respecting their boundaries and those of others.

  6. Giving advice when asked for it.

  7. Feeling love and empathy towards the person you are caring for.

  8. Knowing what’s best for themselves.

  9. Giving freely without expectations.

  10. Not taking others' actions personally.

  11. Encouraging others to solve their own problems.

  12. Using assertive “I” statements.

  13. Supporting the recipient.

 

  • 8 Signs You Are Caretaking in Your Relationship:

  1. You need to feel needed.

  2. You take on responsibilities that your partner should and could do independently.

  3. You take on your partner’s problems and emotions as if they were your own.

  4. You anticipate the needs of your partner but are unsure of your own needs and feelings.

  5. Your partner doesn’t feel confident in making decisions for themselves.

  6. You control and dominate your partner.

  7. You attempt to fix your partner and solve all of their problems.

  8. You give your opinion and assert yourself but do not ask for their input on matters.

 

  • How to Stop Caretaking Others:

  1. Practice self-care daily.

  2. Remind yourself that you are worthy of your time and attention.

  3. Empower others to solve their own problems.

  4. Remind yourself that others are capable of managing their own lives.

  5. Allow others the space and opportunity to decide whether or not they want to take your advice.

  6. When others tell you their problems: listen, empathize, and empower.

  7. Only give advice and solutions when asked.

  8. Set healthy boundaries and maintain them.

 

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