Mar 13, 2025
In today’s episode, Colleen breaks down why willpower is an exhausting and unsustainable way to change your behavior. If you’ve ever tried to “power through” not drinking or force yourself into good habits, only to fall back into old patterns, this episode will shift the way you think about change.
Instead of relying on willpower to control your drinking, your eating, your productivity, or anything else, Colleen shows you how to design an environment that makes success inevitable—without the mental struggle, without the exhausting inner battle, and without feeling like you're constantly fighting against yourself.
Key Takeaways:
1. Willpower is a Finite Resource—You Will Run Out
- Willpower is just forced focus—it’s what you use when you don’t actually want to do something.
- The more decision fatigue, stress, or depletion you experience, the less willpower you have.
- If you’re relying on willpower to avoid drinking at night, you’re already set up to fail.
2. External Rewards Make You Feel Powerless
- We are conditioned to chase performance-based rewards—grades, promotions, social validation.
- This mindset makes success feel scarce—like you have to constantly prove yourself to earn your own power.
- If someone (or something) gives you power, it’s not actually yours.
3. You’re Not Chasing a Goal—You’re Chasing a Feeling
- It’s not about not drinking, it’s about how you think not drinking will make you feel.
- When you place your self-worth in achieving a goal instead of designing a life that supports you, you create an exhausting cycle of struggle.
- Real power comes from creating a life where you feel good right now—not just after you hit some goal.
Actionable Steps to Make Change Easy
1. Stop Beating Yourself Up—Start Observing Instead
- Instead of thinking,
I need more willpower,
ask:
“How can I make this easier for myself?” - Notice the conditions that lead to overdrinking, and shift your environment—not just your mindset.
2. Design Your Success Instead of Forcing It
- If your goal is to drink less, don’t just “try harder”—change your surroundings.
- Example: Instead of sitting in front of the TV and trying not to drink, switch up your routine.
- Take a bath, read in a different room, go for an evening walk—anything that naturally moves you away from the habit.
3. Make Your Future Self’s Life Easier
- Instead of spending willpower
on not drinking, use it
to set up a better tomorrow:
✅ Get a good night’s sleep.
✅ Hydrate and eat nourishing food.
✅ Move your body and reduce stress before it builds up. - The more you invest in yourself today, the less you’ll need to rely on willpower tomorrow.
Homework:
Ask
yourself:
✔ Where in my life am I
forcing things instead of designing things?
✔ How can I change my
environment so I don’t have to struggle as
much?
✔ What if my power wasn’t in
my performance, but in how I take care of myself?
Because real power doesn’t come from proving yourself—it comes from setting yourself up for success.
Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. If you’re ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober (side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking),You'll walk away from our call with a clear understanding of how to get the skills you need to transform your life.
Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!
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