Jan 23, 2025
In today’s episode, Colleen unpacks a profound quote from Mark Manson and explores how the pursuit of positive experiences often leads to stress and dissatisfaction. She explains how accepting negative experiences can actually transform your emotional state and offers practical steps to break free from the cycle of overthinking and stress. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your head, driven by the need to “figure it all out,” this episode is your guide to stepping into the present moment, regulating your nervous system, and finding peace.
Key Takeaways:
- Mark Manson’s Wisdom:
“Pursuing a positive experience is itself a negative experience, and accepting a negative experience is itself a positive experience.”
This paradox highlights the power of acceptance and the futility of overthinking. - The Stress Habit:
Living in your head, future-pacing, or ruminating on the past creates stress in the body. Overthinking is a habit fueled by the brain telling the body a “scary story.” - Two Key Questions:
- Am I safe right now?
- Do I feel safe?
If the answer to the first is “yes” but the second is “no,” your stress is coming from your thoughts, not your circumstances.
- The Power of Emotional Presence:
Instead of chasing solutions through overthinking, focus on the present moment. Acknowledge and accept your feelings to shift your emotional state. - Breaking the Cycle of Pursuit:
Chasing certainty, even in the form of bad news, keeps you stuck. Tolerating the discomfort of not knowing and allowing negative experiences is what creates positive change.
Action Steps:
- Notice Your Stress Habit:
Pay attention to when you’re stuck in your head and feeling stressed. Ask yourself the two key questions to identify if the issue is external or internal. - Accept Your Emotions:
When you notice a stress response, stop and feel your feelings. Put your hand on your heart, acknowledge the sensation, and remind yourself that feelings are not facts. - Practice the Art of Allowing:
Instead of resisting or avoiding negative feelings, embrace them as part of the growth process. This acceptance can transform your emotional state. - Build Emotional Resilience:
Use this practice regularly to teach your brain that negative experiences can lead to positive outcomes.
Homework:
Reflect on a time when you were stuck in overthinking. What
feelings were you avoiding? Take a moment today to notice any
stress responses in your body. Use the two questions—Am I safe?
Do I feel safe?—to guide yourself back into the present
moment. Acknowledge and allow your emotions instead of trying to
think your way out of them.
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