Jul 3, 2023
Does this sound familiar? You've been told to simply provide love and support to your adopted child, but despite your best efforts, they still struggle with emotional trauma. Or maybe you're an adult adoptee and struggling with ongoing distress from your relinquishment. The pain of watching your child - or yourself - suffer and feeling helpless can be overwhelming. But there is hope. In this episode, we explore the power of Brainspotting as a therapy for trauma in the adoption constellation. By understanding the critical role of support structures, nurturing openness and connection, and mastering emotion regulation strategies, adoptive parents can help support their child's emotional healing. And adult adoptees can access this same healing for themselves with the help of a trained therapist. Join us to learn more and take a big step forward in your healing journey.
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In this episode, you will be able to:
Understand the undisputed importance and benefits of thorough education and adoptee-centered support for adoptive parents.
Become aware of the life-changing impact of nurturing openness and connection in the adoption continuum for the adoptees’ wellbeing.
Explore the intricacies of Brainspotting, specifically tailoring its application for trauma management in the adoption space.
Master the art of regulating and balancing emotions for both adoptees and adoptive parents.
Step into the world of therapy, appreciating the sanctuary it provides for both adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.
My special guest is Brooke Randolph
Meet Brooke Randolph, a captivating blend of therapist, author, speaker, and trainer who brings her own hands-on adoption experience to the table. In adopting her first son from Samoa in 2013, Brooke truly embraced and navigated the complexities of adoption. Her work is informed by her personal experiences, plus she enriches it with a groundbreaking healing approach called Brainspotting. Brooke is a passionate advocate for therapy excellence and training, openness in adoption, and family preservation.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
Look up Brooke's website: https://brooke-randolph.com/
Check out Brooke Randolph's book, It's Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion & Open Adoption: https://amzn.to/3Jz4mdX
Find out more about Brooke's humanitarian work in Oceania: https://brooke-randolph.com/humanitarian-trainings-in-oceania/
Here's Brooke's group practice with a list of their Brainspotting therapists: https://www.greenhouseindy.com/brainspotting
Here's a list of Brooke's favorite books about adoption: https://amzn.to/3pnJDmA
Read one of Brooke's latest blog posts, "Why Brainspotting for Adoption Therapy: 4 Foundational Elements": https://brooke-randolph.com/blog/why-brainspotting-adoption-therapy-4-foundational-elements/
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
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Adoption Support Group for Parents
Adoptive parents often grapple with unique challenges throughout
their adoption journey. Joining a support group can provide an
avenue to share experiences, seek guidance, and gain emotional
support. This helps parents better understand their child and
provide them the emotional support they need. Beth, the host of
Unraveling Adoption, recognized the importance of such support,
founded 'APtitude', a support group that provides resources to
adoptive parents. During their conversation, she shares how
APtitude offers resources, a private Facebook community for
adoptive parents, and a book club to facilitate the sharing of
experiences and provision of support. It's an effective and safe
container for parents to navigate their unique journey of
adoption.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction,
Host Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and welcomes guest Brooke
Randolph, an adoptive mom, therapist, author, speaker, and trainer.
They discuss their commitment to helping those affected by adoption
and promoting excellence in therapy, openness in adoption, and
family preservation.
00:02:09 - Brooke's Adoption Story,
Brooke shares her adoption journey, including working at an
international adoption agency and adopting her son from Samoa in
2013. She discusses the benefits of open intercountry adoption and
how she intentionally created an open relationship with her son's
biological family.
00:07:06 - The Importance of Openness in Adoption,
Brooke emphasizes the importance of openness and information in
adoption, providing adoptees with a solid foundation of their
identity, and answering their questions. She stresses that
withholding information can damage relationships and lead to
distrust.
00:09:28 - "It's Not About You",
Brooke discusses the title of her book, It's Not About You:
Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, and Open Adoption, and
emphasizes that adoptive parents need to get out of their own way
and prioritize their child's needs over their own. She also
discusses the concept of co-regulation and the importance of
attachment figures in regulating emotions.
00:14:57 - Importance of Regulation and Felt Safety
Finding one's own regulation is crucial to avoiding complications
in a situation. It is essential to focus on felt safety and
attachment to help kids feel safe enough to process trauma. Beth
and Brooke discuss the importance of parents' goals not overtaking
children's goals and how behavior is just a symptom of something
else.
00:17:33 - Working with Adoptive Parents and Kids
Beth and Brooke discuss the dynamics of working with adoptive
parents and kids. Brooke emphasizes the importance of helping the
child determine their goals and focusing on those in therapy. She
also mentions that while parents may come in with their own goals,
their child's behavior is a symptom of something else, and the
focus should be on helping the child feel safe enough to process
trauma.
00:19:19 - Felt Safety and Brainspotting
Brooke explains that felt safety is feeling safe, not necessarily
being safe, and it differs from person to person. She also
discusses Brainspotting, a brain-body mindfulness-based therapy
that utilizes a fixed eye position to increase access to the issue
or pain. Brooke mentions that Brainspotting is an intuitive and
flexible therapeutic modality that allows clients to feel seen and
individuated.
00:23:51 - Brainspotting and Eye Position
Brooke explains that Brainspotting is a relational therapy that
identifies and follows the client's lead, allowing for
individualized sessions. Eye position affects how people feel, and
finding a fixed eye position that increases or decreases activation
can help clients access the issue or pain.
00:30:03 - Eye Position in Brainspotting,
Brooke mentions that a specific eye position does not correlate to
a specific part of the brain. The positioning of the extraocular
muscles is different for every person. The brain is complicated.
We're just accessing different parts at different times based on
what's most needed.
00:31:20 - Personal Brainspotting Experience,
Brainspotting helped both the guest and the host find a part of
herself that was trying to come out for a long time. Different
modalities, such as Brainspotting, breathwork, and EMDR are using
our own brain's power to find our own healing. Brainspotting just
helps uncover what our own brain has been trying to tell us all
this time and hasn't had a chance.
00:35:05 - Adoption and Brainspotting,
Brainspotting has a relational foundation and a client-centered
focus that is very healing for people in the adoption
constellation. It is helpful for people who may not have words for
their experience, whether because it was very early or because
memories are encoded in a different language.
00:37:37 - Finding a Brainspotting Therapist,
To find a therapist, Google "Brainspotting" and see who comes up in
your area. Consider joining an adoptive parents group such as
APtitude which has a database full of directories and articles that
are useful for their family's journey.
00:40:37 - In-Person vs. Zoom Brainspotting,
Zoom works fine - or even better - for some people, but it depends
on the situation.
00:43:44 - Adoption Support Group for Parents,
Beth shares about her support group, APtitude, for adoptive parents
facing adoption challenges. The group offers a database, a private
Facebook group, a monthly speaker series, and bookclub as resources
for adoptive parents to learn and grow together.