Jun 26, 2023
Dallas remembers being told he was adopted at five years old. And at 19, he had a life-shattering realization about his adoption. Struggling with anger issues and feeling disconnected from his family, he spiralled into self-destructive patterns with drugs and alcohol to cope with his pain. Now, Dallas is on a journey of self-discovery and growth, using some unconventional tools to help him cope with his struggles. But what was the unexpected twist that prompted his self-destructive behavior? And what was the key that opened the lock of his recovery?
In this episode, you will be able to:
Uncover the significance of identity and belonging in adopted children's lives.
Learn about Dallas's personal struggles of addiction and his inspiring road to recovery.
Recognize the crucial role of understanding and support in addressing adopted children's unique challenges.
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My special guest is Dallas
Get to know Dallas, an inspirational figure who has successfully navigated the challenges of adoption trauma and addiction to emerge stronger and more resilient. With a past marked by substance abuse and self-destructive behavior stemming from surprising revelations about his biological parents, Dallas embarked on a transformative journey of self-discovery and growth. Through his determination to overcome these challenges and the invaluable lessons he's gained along the way, Dallas supports and guides others grappling with the intricate ties between adoption and addiction.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
Consider seeking professional support or therapy to navigate the complexities of adoption. Here is an Adoptee Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
Here are the books that Dallas recommends:
Dopamine Nation by Anna Lemke:
https://amzn.to/3CGlkTW
Alan Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking: https://amzn.to/3JmvAEE
Dallas’s information:
Find Dallas on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_walk_king/
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
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The Importance of Love
One of the most important factors that can help adopted individuals
navigate the challenges they face is love and support from their
adoptive family. Communicating this love and understanding
consistently can help them cope with feelings of emptiness,
abandonment, or insecurity that may arise due to their adoption
status. Adoptive parents should strive to be a pillar of strength
and encouragement for their children, fostering a home environment
where their child feels safe and valued. By creating a strong
foundation of love and support, adoptive parents can help their
children build resilience and instill a sense of safety and
belonging that will serve them throughout their lives.
Psychedelics and Forgiveness
The use of psychedelics, such as psilocybin mushrooms, can
sometimes lead to transformative experiences that help individuals
release deep-seated anger and resentment. While not a conventional
treatment method, and not recommended for everyone, Dallas's
experience shows that exploring alternative therapies might be
beneficial for some people in their healing journey. A critical
aspect of this healing process is understanding the importance of
forgiveness, both towards others and oneself. In the episode,
Dallas recounts his life-changing experience with psilocybin
mushrooms that allowed him to see his adoptive parents' perspective
and let go of the anger he harbored towards them. However, even
after this profound breakthrough, his addiction still persisted.
Dallas's ultimate recovery came through a combination of
forgiveness, self-reflection, and adopting healthier behaviors.
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Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:28 - Childhood and Adoption Story,
Dallas shares his adoption story, including finding out at 5 years
old that he was adopted and struggling with anger and shame
throughout his childhood. He also discusses how he found out at 19
that who he thought was his biological mother was not, which sent
him into a downward spiral of addiction and self-destructive
behavior.
00:05:19 - Self-Destruct Mode,
Dallas talks about how he turned to drugs and alcohol heavily for
five years after finding out about his birth parents. He discusses
how he was able to function as an addict, hiding his drug use from
others, and how he felt like he wanted to die but didn't want to
kill himself directly.
00:09:36 - Getting Help,
Dallas shares how he eventually sought help and went into recovery
from all substances a year ago. He talks about the tools that have
helped him in recovery, including therapy, mindfulness, and
connecting with others in recovery. He also discusses the
importance of understanding and addressing underlying issues to
prevent relapse.
00:11:21 - Psychedelics and Forgiveness,
Dallas discusses using psychedelics and the profound experience he
had at 24 that led to forgiveness towards his adoptive parents. He
also talks about the benefits of integrating psychedelic
experiences and how forgiveness can help overcome addiction.
00:14:41 - Quitting Substances and Self-Binding,
Dallas talks about his journey of quitting substances, including
cigarettes, cocaine, alcohol, and finally weed. He credits his
success to self-binding and physical barriers, such as going on
walks without cigarettes.
00:18:26 - Marijuana Addiction,
Dallas shares his experience with marijuana addiction and how it
was the hardest substance for him to quit due to the medicinal
benefits. He also discusses how marijuana can cause anxiety and the
importance of finding new ways to replace dopamine hits.
00:20:52 - Anhedonia and Finding New Pleasures,
Dallas explains anhedonia, the lack of pleasure after quitting a
substance, and how he found new ways to replace dopamine hits, such
as being in nature, exercising, and sleeping. He also talks about
the clarity he gained after quitting weed.
00:22:24 - The Impact of Cannabis on Brain Function,
Dallas talks about how cannabis stunts brain function and causes
cognitive fog. Beth shares how her son feels clearer and able to
think better after taking a break from the substance.
00:23:13 - Adoption and Substance Use,
Dallas discusses how his adoption pain may have contributed to his
self-destructive behavior and substance use. He talks about how he
used drugs and alcohol to cope with triggers, such as birthdays and
Mother's Day, holidays that reminded him of his adoption-related
pain.
00:25:01 - Difficulty Finding Support,
Dallas explains the difficulty of finding support for his adoption
trauma and substance use. He shares how he didn't have anyone to
talk to about his struggles and how his friends were not attuned to
his emotional needs.
00:27:35 - Finding Information About Birth Mother,
Dallas reveals how he learned about his birth mother being locked
up in a mental institution and how he felt hesitant to talk to his
adoptive parents about it. He shares how taking Psilocybin helped
him open up about his birth mother to his adoptive parents.
00:30:00 - Addiction and Food,
Dallas discusses his addiction to food and how it's similar to his
substance use. He shares how he substituted food for drugs and how
binging on food is similar to binging on drugs. He advises parents
to empathize with their children who may be struggling with
addiction and substance use.
00:33:22 - The Importance of Honesty in Adoption,
Dallas shares how learning the truth about his adoption later in
life caused him to spiral. He believes that it is important for
adoptive parents to be honest with their children and provide them
with information about their birth parents.
00:34:23 - Importance of Open Communication,
Beth and Dallas discuss the importance of open communication
between adoptive parents and their children. Dallas recommends that
adoptive parents let their children know that they are open to
talking about their adoption if and when the child is ready.
00:35:07 - The Benefits of Walking,
Dallas shares how walking has been a crucial part of his recovery
process. He believes that walking in nature helps clear his mind
and allows him to sort through his thoughts.
00:38:26 - Helping Adopted Children,
Dallas expresses his desire to help adopted children who may be
struggling with addiction and mental health issues. He believes
that it is important to provide these children with the tools to
cope with their pain and help them avoid years of heartache.
00:39:15 - The Importance of Love,
Dallas advises adoptive parents to let their adopted children know
that they are loved and to shower them with affection. He believes
that adopted children often start their lives with a deficit and
need extra love and support from their parents.