Jan 7, 2021
Rob and Tami explain in depth what a betrayed spouse is going through during the first year and a half after a reveal, and what a person in recovery can do about it. They also answer listener questions about porn addiction since the age of 10, and what to do when a CSAT therapist sides with the addict and not with the betrayed spouse.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:25] My wife hates me. When will it stop?
[2:25] Dr. Rob explains why it’s important for betrayed spouses to find a place to vent outside of your home with the addict.
[4:25] He’s just not getting it! Will I ever get empathy from my addict?
[8:00] I have been a compulsive user of sexual fantasy since I was 10. I’m struggling. How do I become normal again?
[13:15] As a betrayed spouse, I’m seeing red flags with my husband’s current therapist. The therapist blames me!
[15:40] Not all therapists are good therapists. You do get a mixed bag and it can be a journey to find the right one.
[18:45] My addict broke my boundaries. What do I do?
[25:35] At Seeking Integrity, Dr. Rob and his team turn boys into men.
[27:35] Is there something wrong with me that I want to be intimate with my untrustworthy addict?
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss
QUOTES
- “After a year and a half, I will say to betrayed spouses that, at a certain point, your anger can be unproductive.”
- “I think it’s important for every betrayed spouse to have a place to go where they can vent because addicts need some space from you in order to grow, even though we deserve [the anger]!”
- “Stopping the bad behavior I can do in a month or two, but becoming a good person can take a long time. A lot of therapy.”
- “Stopping the behavior is critically important, but also address the underlying issues. There’s a reason we use these addictions as an escape.”