Nov 30, 2023
Lucy Beresford hosts LBC Radio’s Sex and Relationships show and she’s the author of 4 books, including the global best-seller Happy Relationships. She works as a psychotherapist at The Grace Clinic, London and from time to time at The Delhi Psychiatry Centre in India under Dr. Sunil Mittal. In this episode, Lucy talks about refinding your voice again after a betrayal, how to create a deeper connection with a partner, and what are the steps forward if you continue to stay in a marriage that had a betrayal in it.
TAKEAWAYS:
[5:00] Lucy shares a time where she lost her voice and had to rediscover it again.
[6:10] How can you show up for yourself? How can you own your own voice?
[7:30] What does Lucy mean to ‘have a voice’?
[10:15] It’s very hard for women who have experienced betrayal to have a voice.
[12:10] When women get into relationships, their sense of self often gets drowned out.
[19:40] It’s so hard to stay committed to someone when you’ve had a small fight; much less a betrayal.
[24:50] Unfortunately for addicts, they’ve hurt their best friend and partner and so they can not depend on this person (right now) for emotional support.
[31:10] What do we unwillingly enable in someone else because of our own baggage and history?
[34:35] You’ve consciously chosen to stay, now what?
[40:45] Lucy talks about disclosed non-monogamy and what that means for a couple.
[46:15] If your personality is being crushed and you’re becoming a former version of yourself, when should you stop everything and listen?
[50:00] A little bit about Lucy and her work/books.
RESOURCES:
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss
QUOTES:
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“I didn’t know I had permission not to have children. It showed me there are people out there who are making choices in their life for other people.”
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“What’s the impact of you living authentically? It’s one thing to be sad about the life you had, it’s another to assist in that sadness.”
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“How do I retain a sense of me while celebrating and nourishing ‘we’?”