Mar 16, 2024
Annie and Melissa are two women who have experienced deep marital betrayal in their relationship. The signs weren’t always clear as to what was actually going on, but when the wool had been pulled over their eyes, the amount of emotions, judgment, and pain they experienced took a long time to recover from. This episode is part two of these two women sharing their very personal story of how they found out about their husbands’ addictions and how they got through it.
TAKEAWAYS:
[3:15] Hindsight is 20/20. These are real and raw emotions and unfortunately, it’s difficult to hide or protect your children from what’s happening within your household.
[4:20] Melissa shares the reactions her friends and family had after they realized what was going on in her marriage.
[4:45] Annie found out that she had friends who loved her, but this topic was very difficult for them to handle.
[6:45] Did Annie’s husband’s porn use affect their intimate life?
[12:55] When Melissa joined a support group, it was the first time she felt validated and like she wasn’t going through this journey alone.
[23:45] Guess what, an addict can lie to their therapist! And some therapists eat it all up.
[30:50] Melissa knew for many years something was wrong but she just didn’t know what. Those years were painful; to constantly doubt herself.
[33:40] The work betrayed spouses have to go through to heal is very different from what an addict has to go through to make amends.
[39:15] How did Melissa and Annie meet? They’re so grateful for each other and their support!
RESOURCES:
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss
QUOTES:
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“You trust your spouse and it’s something that you never expected to happen. I never expected to find what I found.”
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“I knew my friends were trustworthy, but I couldn’t go to my friends and be like, ‘guess what I discovered now’. At least, I couldn’t.”
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“I will never be grateful this happened to me, but I am grateful that because it happened to me, I have made life-long friends.”