Jul 5, 2022
Going through major life changes brought about by divorce renders us doubting ourselves and our capacity to rear our children. Living a solo life can be a struggle to find our way from powerless to becoming empowered.
My guest Diane Sorensen is no stranger to the pains of going through a divorce and the difficulties of co-parenting. She created the Beauty in Behavior program to educate adults on how to understand children's behavior and use them as opportunities for growth, both for them and for ourselves. Diane has been in the field of early childhood education for 30 years and holds degrees in early education and behavioral science.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Diane shares her struggles at home and in the classroom. Her fascination with wanting to understand behavior more introduced her to conscious discipline. "That's where my education started in taking a conscious approach and redefining my relationships with my children, myself, and the children in the classroom."
✔️ Powerless parenting versus empowered parenting. Diane points out that we can choose to step into our power as parents. Powerlessness is getting into the roles of victim, rescuer, or persecutor. We can challenge ourselves to step into that creative role and become our own coaches and our children as we go through challenges.
✔️ That victim mindset within your head is sometimes really sneaky. Start paying attention to how you are engaging in victimhood. As parents, the common phrase is, "I can't do XYZ because I have children." Right?
✔️Where there is blame, there is pain. Diane adds that we're off shooting our pain, blaming others to then self-blame. We don't need fixing but understanding.
✔️ Awareness is the bridge between problem and solution. We need to feel and understand our emotions and what they're telling us, and it is never too late. Diane shares that she was in her 40s when she came into parent coaching work. "I was utterly disconnected from feeling emotions. I had two feelings, being happy or mad. I did not feel them, and I acted them out. So if I was pleased, I was just over the top, and if I was angry, I was slamming things down."
✔️ Acknowledgment with compassion. Instead of moving into blame or judgment of what you feel, take power out by naming that voice that just came out. Doing so enables you to recalibrate yourself. Remember, what we resist persists and grows bigger.
✔️ We're so used to focusing on what we don't want. Diane reminds us to focus on what we do want and then take action. Action is where transformation happens. "Practice micro shifts. We traditionally live by black and white, and it's all or nothing." The little steps make a difference, and the difference they make is consistency.
✔️ We're really doing our kids a disservice when we follow them around and try to make everything great for them. We think we're saving them from feeling discomfort, but actually, it's us who don't want to see our children having emotions because we're not comfortable with their feelings. "It makes a huge impact when we can sit, be the container, give and hold space for them so they can feel sad, frustrated. They feel understood, seen and heard. As humans, that's all we want. All of us."
Diane Sorensen is a relationship-based parenting coach. She is the creator of the Beauty in Behavior parent coaching program.
Diane believes that children's behavior is constantly presenting us with opportunities for growth, both for them and for ourselves. Diane has been in the field of early childhood education for 30 years and holds degrees in early education and behavioral science.
She is also trained in Conscious Discipline, a research-based approach grounded in neuroscience. In her time as a teacher Diane implemented conscious discipline practices in her classroom. Teachers, administration and parents took notice and could see, hear and most importantly feel the difference in the classroom. Diane then took on the role of Behavior Specialist teaching other education staff these practices before turning full time to coaching parents.
The Beauty in Behavior program is designed to help parents understand their child's behavior on a deeper level, lower stress, and support parents in creating the relationships they desire.
Diane is also the creator and host of the "Beauty in Behavior" podcast.
Diane’s Free Gift for Listeners:
Parenting Myths, Dealing with a child who shows aggression, Relationship-based activities
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07